Previously on The Awesomes:
With the Awesomes gone, I can finally unleash my
full powers and no one will ever suspect a thing.
Is there a new team in place already?
Yeah, your dad said he had people on something called "speed dial."
Old folk talk, right, nice bunch.
We don't need fancy headquarters and expensive equipment
to be superheroes. We'll help people who come to us.
We'll be the Awesomes For Hire.
Prock, I'm pregnant. We're having a baby.
[grunts]
3x07 - The Awesomes Reloaded
Good news, Mr. Hughley.
Your dumpster wasn't haunted. It was just a raccoon.
- [chuckles] I think he likes me. - He does not like you.
- What about the haunted freezer? - The baying you heard
was just air in your radiator pipes.
Well, it could have been air,
or it could have been a ghost whisper.
- Don't. - And... and... and what about
- the werewolf in my office? - That was your wife.
She was trying to spice up your love life through roleplay.
And I would have gotten away with it, too,
if it wasn't for you [bleep].
You're a kooky old bat, but I dig your moxie.
So if we could just settle up.
So how are we doing this week?
Good enough to make the next payment on the van.
Why are we spelling it "Oowesomes" again?
Because Mr. Awesome threatened to sue if we didn't.
Man, what's up with your dad, Prock?
Look, he's running for president, all right?
He needs to be extra careful.
Yeah, guys. Also, he's-a-dick.
Sorry, I got something caught in my throat.
He's a dick.
[murmur of agreement]
I'm sorry the team's being hard on your dad.
It's just, you know, he suspended them and everything.
I know, and hey, are you sure you're up for all this?
I mean, you are pregnant now.
I'm not having the baby tomorrow, Prock.
Still, you should not be getting so close to werewolves.
Not a werewolf, a pervy old lady.
And I have no intention of sitting on the sidelines
for the next nine months. I'm a superhero.
Heh, would be nice, though.
- What? - You know, havin' a normal family,
not havin' to save the world from evil all the time.
Do you really think you could give this up?
It's all you've ever wanted to do.
It's all I've ever wanted to do.
That's my point, look at our families. They're both so screwed up
it's hard not to think the superpower part
had something to do with it.
Hey, all families are screwed up, and besides,
we both turned out okay.
If we're smart, we can be parents and heroes.
- What's all this? - Just a routine fumigation.
Was called in by, uh, Jill Stein Awesome Kaplan.
Weird Mom wouldn't tell me.
Anyway, you're gonna want to grab whatever stuff you need.
Your mom booked you rooms at the hotel.
[music]
Something is not right about... [gasps]
Look out, everybody!
[groans]
[grunting]
[gasps]
Look who's up.
I gotta run to the station, but I'll be home by seven.
And don't you dare cook anything.
I'll pick dinner up on the way home.
One more thing. Don't we have the best life?
[creepy music]
[title music]
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ Yeah, this feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels awesome ♪
♪ This feels so awesome ♪
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~
[whistling] [music]
- That's a fine whistle, Sheriff. - Well, thank you, Jake.
So the 300s are social sciences,
and the 380s contain transportation,
and 385 is where you find trains, but you might
also want to look in the 600s, which are technology,
and then into the 620s for engineering, and finally to the 625,
which would have information on railroads.
So what kind of train book are you lookin' for exactly?
Choo Choo train book?
That would be in the children's section. Follow me.
- Good morning, Connie. - Morning, Sheriff.
Have that book back in two weeks or it's a nickel a day.
I don't have no nickels.
Well, if you're late, the Sheriff will arrest you.
I'm not gonna arrest you.
What, it felt a little harsh.
Harsh is an unreturned book. What can I do for you?
Thought I should grab a book on parenting.
Smart. How's she doin'?
- Gettin' big and feelin' great. - Good for her.
- Here you go. - What do you recommend?
Well, they're all good. Of course one of them just might have
that integral piece of information that helps you raise a healthy child.
Ugh, your arms and legs are wobbling all over the place.
Here's my impression of you guys.
[making mocking noises]
You gotta be more aerodynamic.
And I should know, I'm the only
five time state champion of the hundred meters.
That's because most people graduate in four years.
I still won the races. Uh oh, it's the cops.
Ready, set.
[blows whistle]
So how are the fellas lookin' this year, coach?
Well, we were the favorites to win state,
but our all star runner just quit the team.
- Oh no, why is that? - He discovered girls.
[music]
[starting engine]
Morning, Sheriff. Morning, Coach.
Hey, aren't you supposed to be in school right now, young man?
- I just took all my finals. - The school year just started.
- I know. - Tim's, like, crazy smart.
- Tim, tell them the two kinds of mirrors. - Nah, I don't want to.
- Oh, please, Tim, tell 'em! - Convex and concave.
[squealing and giggling] Oh my God, he is so hot.
[laughs] Laters!
- He's pretty freakin' cool. - So cool, right?
If you can imagine it, you can paint it.
I'm gonna put some trees over here. Hello trees.
And then why not put some mountains over here?
Hello mountains. And now let's put in the sheriff.
- Hello Sheriff. - Hello.
[gasping]
You see, everyone, I imagined the sheriff and now here he is.
If it's in your imagination, painting can make it real.
Usually just on the canvas.
That's right, what just happened here was bananas.
Okay, now get to work. I'll be right back to check on you.
[music]
Hey, why are all the portraits of your mother purple?
It is the color of royalty, and my mama is a queen,
and she's also my muse,
and most importantly, she's my mama.
Now I think you're gonna like this.
- I love it. - Thank you.
In the past, I've waited for the baby to be born,
but then I realized all babies just look like
little blobs of goo, so I finished it early.
- Um, thank you? - My pleasure.
And, uh, you wouldn't mind doin' somethin' for me?
I got this parking ticket yesterday.
You were parked in a 15 minute spot for 2 hours.
What, I had a foot massage that ran long.
- Two hours long? - You're tellin' me
you don't like gettin' your feet rubbed?
That's all I have to do, just rip up a ticket?
Now don't you go tellin' anyone.
Oh, I won't, Sheriff. [chuckles] I won't.
This kid looks strong. He's gonna be a regular Charles Atlas.
- Who? - Maybe Jack LaLanne?
You mean someone like Liam Hemsworth?
I don't know Lena Hemsworth, but this kid is aces.
We're almost the same age, doc.
I never understand why your references are so much older than mine.
I'm an old soul, I guess. Now, any problems?
No, it's just, well, sometimes none of this seems real, you know?
It's hard to wrap the mind around the miracle of birth,
but I assure you it is very real.
It's not that, it's... nevermind.
Okay, see you in two weeks.
- And remember, only one pack a day. - I don't smoke.
No wonder you're so nervous. See you soon.
Night, fellas.
How are you always done with work before me?
Because there isn't any crime in this town.
Helpin' two old ladies across the street
- in the same day is as busy as it gets. - And that doesn't bother you?
When we were kids, all you wanted to do was save the world.
Heh, I guess I figured out what's important...
friends, family, and stayin' out of harm's way.
How did we get so lucky?
You mean to cheat so much in high school and never get caught?
I didn't cheat in high school.
Well, I cheated off of you, so you were complicit.
- Good word. - They say it on The People's Court
all the time, but I have no idea what it means.
I meant how did we get so lucky to have such perfect lives?
- It almost seems too perfect. - Well, who knows?
Maybe none of this is real and someone has hooked us up
to a bunch of weird machines and is studying us.
[laughing]
Hey, Professor Neuromancer, why are we doing this again?
We have a very special client, a high-end client.
- Very hush-hush. - "Hush-hush"? Why didn't you say so?
- That's more than enough, Eric! - Yeah, sorry.
[shatters]
Okay, it's real. Everything is real.
You're being crazy, Katherine.
Hello, my love. Hey, what happened?
I just dropped a mug, it's fine.
Aw, you're tired. I told you you're doing too much.
- You need to relax more. - I feel like I'm too relaxed,
like I'm letting my guard down somehow.
[chuckles] Letting your guard down?
Honey, you have nothing to worry about.
- Is she on to us? - Even if she is, who will believe her?
[chuckling]
Besides, we only have to keep them in this world
long enough to download their brainwaves.
Do we have to sit here and watch?
Do you have somewhere else to be, Eric?!
- I wouldn't mind going to lunch. - Oh, that does sound good.
And it's not like anyone is going to walk into a house
that's being fumigated. [laughing]
A party tent? How come I didn't get an invitation?
Hello?
This party is on the hook, AKA it sucks.
I know, I'll call the New Awesomes to liven it up,
thus saving Prock the embarrassment of a dud party.
Heh, I am a good friend to him.
Hey, it's P-Man.
Want to round up the team and save a lame party?
- On it! - Great.
What's this?
An Awesomes video game? It's about damn time.
Hm, which character should I play?
Larry the Landlord, he looks good. Now to choose a weapon.
These weapons stink. I guess, hammer.
Hammer, hammer, hammer!
Okay, figured out the controls.
Now for my mission. Collect the rent.
Jump, jump.
[sounds of impact]
Hammer smash.
Jump, hammer, hammer.
[knocking]
Can I help you?
I'm Larry the Landlord here to collect the rent.
Oh, okay, I'm gonna be a little late on the rent this month.
As usual. [chuckles]
Ow, okay, I'll get you the rent.
- Your rent will be 5000 dollars. - Five thousand dollars?
Ah, man, the rent is too damn high.
Ho-ho, I bet these paintings are worth a lot of points.
Mama, no, wait, wait, wait, wait!
I'll give you the money.
[whistling]
♪ Countin' my money ♪ [whistling]
♪ Me and my hammer ♪
- I'm here for the rent! - Rent?
This is a public building. We don't pay rent.
Then I will take these books.
Those aren't books, they're encyclopedias,
and they do... not... leave... the library!
[music]
Mother [bleep]!
Walking blows. I need wheels.
[beeping]
[music]
So you've never seen this landlord before?
- No. - And he said the rent here...
- ...is how much? - Five thousand dollars.
- That's too damn high. - That's what I said.
Huh, people don't do things like this in our town.
- You're gonna need a gun. - Hey, there's never been
a gun in this town and there's never gonna be.
Not on my watch.
[music]
Why did the chicken cross the road?
- Why? - He didn't.
He was already on the other side, too.
- I don't get it. - It's a quantum mechanics joke.
- Oh. [laughs] - I know.
Yeah.
Hey, hey, what do you want?
I'm repossessing your car and your shake for energy points.
Now run along. You girls like muscles?
Um, I guess so.
Those girls are in high school.
Ow!
[music]
- You need a gun! - No guns.
[tires squealing]
Ooh, I'm gonna get my hair did.
[music]
[knocking]
Excuse me, who's in charge here?
- I am. - That's funny, Muscleman.
- I was gonna say I was. - Muscleman?
First of all, thank you for the compliment.
Second of all, I don't think you want to mess with us.
[murmuring]
Look out, boys, he has a hammer.
- That's enough. - Problem, officer?
It's sheriff, and yes, problem.
We don't take kindly to people harassing our citizens.
Whom have I harassed?
- It's all in the game. - Oh, this isn't a game.
[music] [beeping]
I must be on the highest difficulty setting if I can't be Prock.
- Prock? - I'm gonna go to the bathroom.
[prolonged deep vocal sound]
Is he going right now?
I don't know, just help me get him in the car.
This game stinks. I've been in this cell for an hour.
It's not a game, and you're stayin' in that cell until you calm down.
They've programmed this Prock perfectly.
- You guys made it. - What's this?
It's a video game. Now put your helmets on.
I need you to break me out of jail.
[prolonged deep vocal sound]
[beeping]
Well, we should get back.
I have to make sure nothing happens to them.
- Our client has made that very clear. - Right, Mr. "Hush-Hush."
Eric, I swear to God with this tone!
I'm sorry, but it's not like anything can happen to them, right?
They're safe in the simulation.
Yes, as long as the Awesomes don't die in the simulation.
If they die in the simulation, they die in real life.
That's why all the guns are locked.
These weapons suck.
Yeah, the guns are locked, you need a code.
- Codebreaker! - On it.
I was thinkin' I'd head home.
Okay, Morris, I've got this covered.
Guns!
Morris!
[lasers firing]
Katherine.
I mean, I was worried, but then Sheriff Jeremy showed up.
Ain't no hammer wieldin' maniac gonna stop our sheriff.
[screaming]
Oh, hi, Mrs. Whitaker.
[grunts]
[screams]
[switches radio to rock]
That's not where those books go. This is nonfiction.
[gasps] Not the card catalogue!
You're just shooting people and destroying stuff.
What are you talking about? This is the best.
Thanks, Silent But Deadly. [shooting]
Can I call you SBD?
[shooting]
SBD, sometimes it feels like you're the only one of these
New Awesomes that I can have a real conversation with.
Can I please have one of the controllers?
Wait your turn!
[prolonged deep vocal sound]
Honey, pack your things. We have to leave town.
What... What are you all doing here?
They came to help.
We went to the police station but you were gone.
Figured you came here to check on Katherine.
Y'all, the town is under siege.
That's great that you want to help, but we're outgunned,
and by that I mean they have guns and we don't.
We have to get out of here.
This is my town and I'm not leaving.
- Me neither. - And if you think I'm gonna...
[prolonged deep vocal sound]
- Harry, are you okay? - What happened to him?
[music] [urinating]
[yawning] Cool.
...run away like some scaredy cat, you're nuts.
- All right. - We're all looking to you, Jeremy.
I'm sorry, but I'm not a hero.
Are we not gonna talk about what just happened to Harry?
- Jump, jump. - I already paid you!
I want to apologize for the way I was playing the game.
It wasn't right to hit people with hammers.
[prolonged deep vocal sound]
[grunting]
There are things more important in life than rent,
like being part of a community, and that's
something these New Awesomes don't understand.
What are you talking about?
[repeated strikes]
I don't want them to win this dumb video game.
I want you to win, so give 'em hell, Impresario.
- Who? - Give 'em hell, Frantic.
- What? - Give 'em hell, Hotwire.
[music]
[prolonged deep vocal sound]
Cut it out.
You are a hero. We all are, trust me.
I don't want to be a hero. I want to be a father.
Be both.
Well, if we're gonna stay and fight, we need a plan.
[prolonged deep vocal sound]
Everyone is dead.
Why haven't we moved on to the next level?
Do you think this will work?
Before Larry's dumb brain died, he said "video game."
I realized that's how they've been acting,
like characters in a video game.
And thanks to a childhood ridden with asthma,
I know a thing or two about video games.
Sheriff said each level ends with a big boss,
and I might have somethin' that will do just the trick.
Oh, that'll more than do the trick.
[rock music]
- And it's ready to blow? - We were supposed to detonate tomorrow.
Sounds good.
[beeping]
You have to get them to the construction site.
But they got guns.
Hey, you're a five time state champ, right?
And it would have been six if I hadn't pulled
my hamstring in my second sophomore year.
You were in high school for six years?
[sighs] That's not important... okay, go, and remember,
Tim is gonna provide cover.
- Over here! - After him!
Woo-hoo! [lasers firing]
Let's party!
[shattering]
[beeping]
[screams]
[music]
- That's the big boss. - Let's get her.
- What the...? - Let's check upstairs.
Now, Harry!
- What happened? - The wire must have been disconnected.
[sighs] I'm sorry, everyone.
They're gonna be out soon, and then we're toast.
- I'm going in. - No, Jeremy, you can't.
It's what I have to do. I'm sorry.
[music]
- Ah! - Hey!
[explosion]
No! Jeremy!
Killed on the first level, are you kidding me?
This game is the worst.
Let us know when you get a better game, Perfect Man.
Thanks for wastin' our time.
[chuckles] We did it, SBD.
- We did what? - Uh, nothing. Let's get out of here.
[screaming]
[sobbing] [music]
You did it, Jeremy. You did it.
[coughing]
We all did it.
[alarm blaring]
I can't believe you got two desserts. Good for you, Eric.
- Well, now I have one for later. - Oh, [bleep]!
[alarm blaring]
[powering down]
Impresario, you were takin' a nap, too?
[yawning]
Yeah, but I don't remember goin' to sleep.
[music]
And everything went smoothly?
Except when Prock almost died...
Up-up-up-up-up, Eric, shut your mouth.
Yes, and now you have it, the brain scans of
each former Awesome, including their weaknesses.
- Birds? - Yeah, he's afraid of birds.
[sighs]
What the hell am I supposed to do with this?
I can't use any of it! Pregnant?
Me, I'm his weakness? What does that even mean?
It means that all he's ever wanted his whole life is your approval.
It drives everything he does and ever has done,
and blinds him to everything else that he cares about.
He will do anything if he thinks it will make you proud.
Anything.
[maniacal laughter]
[music]
♪ How am I supposed to know that you're high ♪
♪ if you won't let me touch you ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed to know that you're high ♪
♪ if you won't even dance ♪
♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪
♪ How am I supposed to know that you're high ♪
♪ if you won't even dance ♪
♪ Yeah, you won't even dance ♪
sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~