- Oh. - This is delicious.
Old Mabel outdid herself this time.
Mabel!
Yes, my future tax deduction?
You know I'll take care of you.
This is amazing. You gotta give me the recipe.
I'm not giving it up that easy.
I mean, maybe we could negotiate.
Hey, hey, hey, Not giving it up that...
I'm sure that's the first time you've said that.
Well, why don't you come by the house later and find out?
Uh, how about we don't and say we didn't?
Miss Mabel, I would love seconds.
- You got it, Kenny. - Thank you.
Ooh, Kenny, don't look now,
but I think you got some action.
Where?
I said, don't look now.
Mmm, couldn't resist, man.
You know how much I love chocolate.
Hey, hey, hey, man, she done seen you drooling now.
Go on over there and say something.
You know what you should say?
"Excuse me, I think you dropped something.
Your standards."
"I'm Smitty."
That always worked for me.
You know what? I got this.
See how a master works.
How you doing?
I couldn't help notice you watching me
and me watching you, so I decided to come over here
and introduce myself.
They call me Kenny.
And they call this a misunderstanding,
because I wasn't watching you.
I was actually watching
the gentleman you were eating with.
Smitty?
Why in the world would anybody want to watch Smithy eat?
No!
Ew.
I was... actually talking about
the handsome gentleman over there.
Well, that's my father.
Great, then you can tell him that I'd love to meet him.
Why?
'Cause I think he's kind of sexy.
Right, right, okay.
I'll go ahead and un-occupy this seat.
Yeah.
- You use my line? - How'd it go?
You know, I think she's near-sighted.
- What? - Yeah, man.
'Cause she was checking you out.
What? What'd you say?
I said, uh, she was checking you out.
Well, of course she was.
I don't know why I didn't see it earlier.
Now, um, watch me work.
- Hey, there. - Hi.
I'm Jay, the dream-weaver.
You so fine.
Right on time, Mabel!
Boy, you got to tell me what's in this.
Tastes like chicken and beef at the same time.
Oh, it isn't anything special, Smitty.
Just a little possum in kangaroo sauce.
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -
And where is Jay?
Hello to you, too, Nadine.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, Where's Jay?
I got some papers here I want him to sign.
Doesn't matter what it's for. When will he be back?
Man, I don't know. I'm not sure.
He's out there with his PYT.
PYT? Is that contagious?
Man, PYT is Pretty Young Thing. I'm talking about Ella.
Yeah, man, they've been dating for like a few weeks now.
Ella, huh?
For a PYT, she sounds like a handsome old thing.
Oh, she's young, all right. I got drawers older than her.
So why would she be interested in Jay?
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
She's my age.
- She should be... - Interested in you?
Sound like you player-hating, brother.
Forget about age. I like them young myself, too.
But why would anybody be interested in Jay?
You was married to him.
That's a horrible thing to keep throwing in somebody's face.
I'm trying to block that memory out.
Hey, everybody!
Nadine, what are you doing out in the daytime?
I thought bats only come out at night.
And I thought ugly wears off. Guess we were both wrong.
You just called yourself a bat.
I don't have time to deal with your foolishness.
Everyone, this...
is Ella.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
How's everybody doing?
Oh, Jay.
Aren't you going to introduce me to your little friend?
You must be Nadine.
Jay's said some wonderful things about you.
Got you lying for him already. You two should get along just fine.
But I've got to ask you... why?
You don't have to answer that.
No, no, no, it's okay.
Jay is kind...
and funny.
and I happen to be very attracted
to distinguished older men.
Nothing like those immature boys I'm used to dealing with.
Mm, yeah, yeah. Whatever, whatever.
Jay, I've got some business I gotta go over with you.
Yeah, well, I'll deal with you later.
Right now, me and Mrs. Jones got a thing going on,
and we're going to lunch.
Lunch sound good to me.
I don't know about y'all,
but I'm gonna get another one of those possum plates.
It's the kangaroo sauce that gets you.
Show me your razor.
Ooh, don't that man look cleaner than a new-born puppy?
Woof, woof.
Man, you are really going all out for this one, huh?
Yeah, yeah, son.
You know, I need somebody to take care of my needs.
Oh, you mean you need somebody to take care of your old ass
when you can't take care of yourself, a.k.a. now.
Why the hate, huh? Why the hate?
Are you mad because once Ella moves in,
I'm gonna kick your ass out?
Wow, so it's like that, huh?
It's like that. It's like that.
So, do you got some plans tonight?
Oh, no, I just figure I'll catch up
on some of my television shows and kick it, ah.
Oh, no, no, no, no, sir.
No, you got to kick rocks.
Ella's coming over,
and I'm cooking dinner for her tonight.
- Making dinner? - Yes, indeed.
I don't know, Jay, don't you think this girl
is a little too young for your standards?
Well, see, there you go, son.
You're assuming I have standards.
Okay, look, I'll grab my stuff up, and I'll be out.
There you go. Have a good time.
All right.
Oh, yes.
If it isn't...
the worst decision I made in my life.
Nadine, what the hell do you want?
Besides the five years that I spent with you back?
Uh, I heard you and your little girlfriend were having dinner.
So I wanted to bring her over some gifts.
What the hell is this?
Well, it's some dolls and some happy dough
so she can learn how to cook and bake like the big girls do.
Okay, what is the real reason why you're here?
I want you sign some construction papers
so I can have some work done in the shop.
Construction? What construction?
- I need the floors redone. - You just had new floors put in!
I know, but that was before old fat Pat
and her big old husky ladies group came in wearing heels.
There are more pot holes on that floor than on the freeway.
Okay, all right, listen, tomorrow I'll take care of it,
I'll sign the papers, but you got to go.
I just don't want you ruining anything I got going on.
Okay fine... ah!
Ella.
Aren't you out a little late? The street lights are still on.
Oh, my grandmother used to say the same thing.
You guys are about the same age.
Come on in, baby, she was just leaving.
Go on, git, go, go, git.
Enjoy the full moon, werewolf.
Hey, baby.
You look great.
Thank you. Hey, Kenny.
Hey, Ella.
Kenny was just leaving, too.
- Oh, that's a shame. - I can stay.
So, Miss Ella, what is it you do for a living?
Tell me about yourself.
It's pretty boring.
A lot number crunching, imports, exports, blah, blah, blah.
Wow, could you be a little more vague?
Uh, sorry, sure, I'll elaborate.
Work, work, work, business, business, business.
Anything else?
- As a matter of fact, there is. - Kenny...
Do you normally date older men?
Or is this your first cash cow?
- I mean, older gentlemen? - Excuse me?
- Kenny. Kenny! - What?
I'm just trying to get to know your girlfriend.
How would you like to get to know my .45?
Okay, it was nice seeing you, Miss Ella.
Right on, and when you're hip goes out, don't call me.
Good night, son. I'm gonna talk to you later.
He has a whole bunch of arsenal jokes,
you know, he's... uh... you look great.
I'm telling you, Smitty, there's something not right about this chick.
But there'd be something right if she was with you.
No, man, that's not it. I just don't trust her.
Look, let your old man have some fun.
Ain't like they're getting married.
Big announcement, fellas. We're getting married.
Y'all ain't gonna congratulate me?
We're engaged. I'm jumping the broom.
Hey, at your age, shouldn't you be
stepping over the broom carefully?
Shut up, Smitty.
Now, remind me again, who's older, you or Methuselah?
You can't marry this girl. You barely know her.
You don't know what I know.
- I know she's a gold digger. - Gold digger?
Man, why are you hating?
I'm not hating. I'm just keeping it real.
I mean, she's obviously after something.
Why else would she be trying to marry you?
She might need a kidney.
I hope not. I only have one good one.
She might need citizenship.
She might be one of them Russian mail-order brides.
She's black.
That's how they get you.
She might be one of them Africans good with an accent.
Are you even thinking this thing through?
Why do you want to get married again at your age?
Because I can. You know what?
I think you're just salty
because your wife divorced you through the mail.
Look, I thought we'd never bring that up again.
You don't even have to go there.
I'm telling y'all, she might be one of them Africans.
Put some flies on her face.
See how long it take her to swat them away.
Look, Jay, I'm telling you...
Yeah, and I'm telling you.
Y'all stay the hell out of my business.
I'm a grown-ass man. I can handle my business.
What you got over there, Smit?
Oh, man, just catching up on some movies and whatnot.
You know, you got to know what's going on.
Itty-bitty Smitty, as I live and breathe.
Joe Pork-Chop Washington!
Good to see you, boy.
Hold up, Pork-Chop?
Man, this man can eat 17 pork chops
back-to-back, know what?
I triple by-pass and a new kidney later,
I'd still give it a shot, but I gotta tell you.
I don't think I get two down. I lost of my girth.
Oh, man, what you doing in town?
My daughter, she's graduating,
so I thought I'd hang out for a few days.
Come on in. You want a cut?
You look a little rough around the edges.
So, yo, man, though.
I had my fair share, but Smitty here?
Smitty would dance and romance 'em
You ain't lying!
He was pretty good at everything.
Everything, that is, except dominoes.
Oh, now, hold on a second.
I was pretty good at dominoes as I remember.
Oh, boy, you know you can't couldn't play no dominoes.
I beat your ass at bones. You remember that, don't you?
Yeah, I remember you cheating, that's what I remember.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, hey,
those are some serious accusations going on right there.
He know he cheated in our domino match 30 years ago.
He was a cheater then. He probably a cheater now.
Matter of fact, you better check your pockets.
Well, man, I think eating all them pork chops
damaged your memory more than it did you kidney.
I remember it like it was yesterday.
I tell you what. Remember?
it was a dark and stormy night.
We had those pork chops sizzling on the grill.
We had been talking trash all day long,
and we were finally gonna settle it all.
Ain't nobody trying to do no damn flashback.
Look, there's only one way to settle this.
Rematch.
Oh, that's a great idea.
Because I will beat your ass in bones anytime,
any day, anywhere.
I like the way you said that.
So, how about we do it like this?
Right here, in your spot tomorrow night.
That way I can beat you in front of all your friends.
Okay. All right.
Well, come on then, Pork Chop, come on.
And don't you ever think these are my friends.
Oh, you don't want the rest of your cut now?
No, I like to leave on a dramatic beat.
Oh, well, go on then.
Pump some theme music while you're at it.
You look like a piece of chicken in an aluminum foil suit!
What am I going to do?
What do you mean?
You're going to play him again tomorrow
and beat him like you did 30 years ago.
Oh, man, I cheated 30 years ago.
I can't play no dominoes.
Mmm! Jay, baby, that steak was good.
I told you, it's the best steak in town.
And now for dessert.
Hey, Jay, baby, why don't you go upstairs
and run us a nice bath, and I'll be right up?
I gotta take this.
- All right. - Okay.
Oh.
Hurry up.
Now's not a good time. Let me call you back.
Wait, what are you talking about?
Sean, I'm gonna get the money, trust me.
Have I ever let you down?
Come on, you know I always get what I want.
Everything is going according to plan.
I love you, too.
Bye.
All right, Smitty, you can do this.
Easy score.
- Here. - No, man, that's 17.
Look, 15, like that.
I appreciate you trying to teach me this, Kenny.
But it's too hard. It's too much math.
It's adding, adding up to five.
I mean, how'd you beat him last time?
- He was drinking. - But you said you cheated.
- He was drunk. - Hey.
Did y'all sleep here?
Y'all pay me for booth-rent, not rent-rent.
I was showing Smitty some dominoes, man.
- We pulled an all-nighter. - Did he get it yet?
Nope.
So, Jay, what's up man? We good?
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, we're good.
Uh, listen, fellas,
I just wanted to admit that... that I was, uh...
that I was wrong and you guys were right.
What was that?
You gotta speak up, Jay. We can't hear you.
I said that I was wrong. All right?
Yeah, Ella was trying to take me for my money.
Damn, why is she trying to stick you for your paper?
I overheard her on the phone talking to some dude named Sean
saying she was going to get the money
and how everything was going according to plan.
I told you, Jay. These girls ain't loyal.
Which definitely explains why she wasn't into me first.
Right.
What you gonna do, Jay? You gonna kick her to the curb?
Hell, no! Did you see her?
No, I figured we'd get a pre-nup.
Then if she decided to leave, she'd leave with nothing.
- That's smart. - Yeah, I'm old, not stupid.
- Play that one. - You sure?
How do you know what I got from over there?
Ain't that your last Domino, fool?
Yeah.
So I'm thinking the colors should be burgundy and...
ooh, turquoise.
What do you think? Jay, baby?
Yeah? Oh, yeah, yeah. Whatever you want.
Come, sit. Let's plan together.
Yeah, yeah, o... okay.
Um, listen, before we...
before we get too deep into this, there's...
there's something I want to run past you.
Yeah, baby, anything.
Yeah, well, you know, I'm not a rich man,
but I have accumulated a couple of things.
Yeah, and what are you getting at?
Well, I was thinking that...
that we might sign this document..
that clearly states that anything that I accumulated...
I keep..
in case something happens to us.
Is this a pre-nup?
A pre...
You know, I'm not up on my legalese.
Oh, I see what this is.
So... so you're okay with it?
No. I have a problem with it.
Aha!
So you admit you're after me for my money?
No.
I admit that I can't be with somebody
who doesn't trust me enough that he would make me sign
a pre-nuptial agreement.
Good-bye, Jay.
Well, get gone.
Get to stepping. Ah!
You look better leaving than you did coming!
God, do you look good leaving.
Score is 130-130.
Come on, what you waiting on?
Big six.
Big Smitty, big six!
- Was that good? - No, no.
No, you just made a big mistake.
Bam! Fever in the fog house.
15! Mark it up! Give it to me. 15!
- Y'all at it again? - Shh!
Hush yourself. It's just a stupid game.
Swallow your tongue, devil woman.
Is this a barber shop, or is it a prison rec yard?
Please be quiet! I'm trying to concentrate.
You can concentrate all you want.
You ain't got nothing now you didn't have 30 years ago.
He's right, I gotta be honest with you.
I gotta admit...
Oh, ain't that Halle Berry over there?!
Oh, that must have been a hologram, sunlight.
Ain't no damn Halle Berry.
Smitty, you just got 20. You won! You won, man!
- I won! - You won!
- I won! I won! - Yes! Yes!
That's right!
That's what I wanted to tell you,
that I was going to admit to you
that I beat you fair and square 30 years ago,
- and I beat you fair and square tonight! - What?! What?!
You know I saw what you did, right?
Hey, it's not cheating if you don't get caught.
Tell that to my first two husbands.
Well, you know what, Smitty buddy?
I guess the best man won.
It's good to see you after all these years, buddy.
You're taking this rather well. I wanted you to be upset.
Come on, it's just a game. Why would I be upset?
Life is good.
Listen, just this afternoon, I met the woman of my dreams.
- Yeah? - Oh, yeah.
Oh, she's hot, hot.
Can cook a mean pork chop.
Oh, and the best part is... she's rich.
- What? - Yes, loaded.
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
Oh, here she is right here. Hey, babe.
Ella?
You guys know each other?
I believe we've met.
Uh, you're rich?
Yeah.
I didn't tell you because I didn't want you
to marry me for my money.
Your money?
Well, what about the phone call?
Sean? Getting money?
Sean's my sister and my business partner.
We were getting investor money together
for a big merger that had nothing to do with you.
Huh. Hmm.
So, you know what?
I forgive you.
Let's get back together.
Uh, it ain't that kind of party, brother.
You're a little late. You ready, babe?
Good-bye...
Jay, right?
- Jay. - Jay, right.
All right. Pork chop, apple sauce.
- See you later, Smitty. - All right.
Damn, Jay, I really think you let a good one go, brother.
Excuse me, I think you dropped something.
Your standards.
I'm Smitty.
Let's get it.
- synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.addic7ed.com -